However. There are those that game the system. Not Googlers, as it turns out, but other taxi drivers. Rogue taxi drivers–that in my case posed as the car service Google has arraignments with. Here’s what happened…

Leaving my desk for the day, I received a phone call that a driver was rolling up in a white town car. I walk downstairs, see a car of that description driving up, approach the window, confirm my name, the driver confirms, and I hop in. Moments after settling in, I realize through a very confusing, and twisted discussion with the driver, that I’m in the wrong car — not the one that I had called. The quickest way to realize this was to ask if at the end of the drive I’d have to pay. “Yes, yes, yes. YOU WILL PAY.” I told him that in prior rides I didn’t have to pay, but he nodded and insisted again: YOU WILL PAY — 3 DOLLARS A MILE. He went on to lecture to me that I should “never ever” call the other people, that they only do local drives, but he will go anywhere in the Bay Area, and offered me his phone number multiple times.

At this point, we weren’t quite off the campus but we were still driving and, at this point, far from where he’d picked me up. I suggested that he should take me back. He refused. Really. He did. A quick glance at my door I noticed it was locked, and briefly went into MacGyver mode thinking I might bail out anyway. I decided to stay the course and just be driven home. Shortly after crossing the freeway, I received a phone call from the original town car service, “Josh, the driver is waiting outside, can you give us an idea how much longer you’ll be?” After a quick explanation, they expressed their sympathy and told me not to worry.

Moments later I arrived at the curb of my hotel, and paid the driver sans tip.

Today, a week later, I took the local bus system to the campus up here in Kirkland. No issues as of this morning!

Sadly, I had to leave Lauren in our as-yet unfurnished apartment for a week of training and orientation in Mountain View, CA. At the Seattle airport as I was boarding I noticed a guy wearing a bright yellow Google t-shirt, and hurried off to me seat in 18c. I was in the aisle, and next to me, in the dreaded middle seat, was a lady perhaps in her late 60s / early 70s. As I got my things in order and sat down, she gave a welcoming smile and friendly nod. Moments after buckling in, she began making a myriad of oddball comments about everything from the volume of the flight attendant voices, to “I wonder how many times that man has given the safety demonstration” kind of things. She was looking for laughs, not solely from me, but from any innocent passer-by. I meanwhile was looking for just a little quiet reading time before the crazy week began. The man to her left, near the window, was a bit more gracious to her conversation attempts and generally played along. That was until he got the 10,000 foot all-clear for electronics usage, as he whipped out his iPod headphones, turned up the volume and zoned out (we would never hear from him again). I was getting to that point myself as I fiddled with my iPhone, trying out a few new games only to realize that my neighbor-in-flight was committed to talking the entire way. No big deal, really — typically I try to talk with who’s seated next to me at least a little. I’m fascinated by the amount of travelers and what journey they’re on. I fully appreciated and enjoyed sitting next to her, although this was just one of those times I wanted to sit in quiet.

We talked. And we talked. Actually, she talked and she talked. Politely I’d ask a question here and there, but you get the idea. Eventually my reason for travel came up and I told her it was for work… “what kind of work are you in?” “Internet… Google. I work for Google.” Everyone’s got something to say about Google — makes for a really fun topic. So she told me everything she knew about Google. Friends of friends daughters that work there, stories of the same people who eventually left, etc. We quickly jumped back into discussing her art collection and her history of growing up in San Francisco — she’s lived in the city for close to 50 years now. She’s got a lot of art — we perused the in-flight magazine as she pointed out what she liked, didn’t like, the whole kit-n-caboodle. Overall it was time well-spent, just a bit different from what I’d pictured heading to the airport.

At some point just after we landed I reached for my phone and I must have made some off-hand remark along the lines of “Guess it’s about time I figure out how to get where I’m going.” Unbenowst to me she would made note of that. We said our goodbyes, nice-to-meet-yous and parted ways. Five minutes later, we’re all waiting for our baggage to roll up. She rushes to me out of nowhere as I’m on the phone, checking in with Lauren, and interrupts to happily tell me she found “another man on the plane that works for Google! He was wearing a yellow shirt and I asked him and well, he works at Google!” She scurries around the corner to get him, and up he walks with a slightly confused look on his face. “I thought you could get a ride with this man, perhaps! Maybe you can ride together wherever you’re going!” It actually was a pretty great idea, however he’d had his own arrangements and itinerary and I had my own and it just didn’t match up.

In the end, I ended up getting towncar service to the hotel and met a Googler in the process. Funny note: Our luggage was taking a little while to show up and fellow co-worker whispered to me that perhaps we should build Google Search for Baggage in our spare time. Har har har…

—- Two months ago. —-

Man: [Walking with me down the street] “Hey, hey, how’s it going? What’s happenin’ man?”
Me: “Not too much, thanks.”
Man: “Hey, those are some nice shoes. You know what? I bet I can tell you where you got those shoes?”
Me: “Oh yeah? Where?”
Man: “You got ‘em on your FEET!”
Me: “Oh you got me good. Thanks. Listen, sorry but I’ve gotta run.”

—- Three weeks later. —-

[Same guy, same act. Me alone again. Story picks up at the "shoes" question]

Me: [laughing to myself]
Man: “Hey don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t — I can tell you where you got your shoes!”
Me: “I can to. I got ‘em on my feet.”
Man: [bewildered. an "oh-my-goodness-whoops-i've-played-this-guy-before" look on his face] “Ok, Ok, Ok, here’s another one. What’s the best nation in the world?”
Me: “Hmm…. best nation. I don’t know, what’s the best nation in the world?”
Man: [Silly grin on his face now -- "Got him!"] “Donation — thats the best nation”
Me: “Thanks, but I have no cash with me. Sorry.”

—- Last week. —-

[Lauren with me this time. I see him walking up to us. Oh boy. The man goes through his act.]

Me: “On my feet!” (Wham!)
Man: [bewildered]
Me: “I know… Donation (Bam!). And hey I’ve got one for you this time.”
Man: [_really_ confused look on his face]

*At this point my mind went blank as I tried to remember this little joke that Lauren’s dad used to tell — the perfect would-be retort for this guy on the street.

Me: [nudging lauren] “What is it?”
Lauren: [looking at man] “I bet I can tell you how many kids your dad had.”
Man: [totally confused] “How many?”
Me: “None. Your dad didn’t have any. Your mom did.” [smiles -- success!]
Man: “what?”
Me: [repeat punchline]
Man: “Hey that’s not funny man, my mother is dead.”
Lauren and I: [oh no, he think this is a "mom joke" -- ABORT! ABORT!]
Me: “Sorry man we gotta go, take it easy.”

So thats it . . . the same guy on the street walking with me/us each time down the sidewalk with the same act. We thought we’d have our turn, and we took it — but he thought we were making fun of his mother when we were really only just stating a fact. Alas!

My idea is to post about some of the colorful characters I’ve seen around the city.*

There’s the Balance Guy. He stands perfectly still on a crate, box, or on his head on a bottle. He’s actually quite good. He only moves his hand to shake his tip cup so you know his goal.

The Ho Guy. He dresses up in a Zebra Suit- not like an actual zebra, that could be funny. No, a ‘business’ suit made of fake zebra skin. He shouts “Ho!” over and over all day, pointing to ladies walking by. He also has a tip cup. But I’m willing to guess his may contain spit or threat notes.

The Bush Guy. He dresses like a bush near the Wharf. On my FIRST day here, Josh and I noticed a crowd of people staring towards us. We also saw an older lady being helped to her feet. Assuming we were not the focus of the stares, but rather the fallen elderly, we jumped as a ‘bush’ reached out and grabbed Josh’s arm. The crowd erupted into laughter. Meanies.

There was the guy who rode his bike down the sidewalk yelling “Wheeeeeee” as he coasted down the hill. A grown man. Probably in his forties.

We also saw Bill Clinton. For real. With about 8 security men around him, earpieces and all. He was eating ice cream. We found out he was in town for Pride Day.

(Actually, to be honest, I saw the back of his head. I think I almost ran into him, but was talking to Jen Van Hill. Jeremy was the one who recognized what was going on and yelled to us “That’s Bill Clinton!” One of the security guys turned around to stare Jeremy down and make sure he was unarmed.)

But the Winner for all weird things I have seen in this city- including the ones I didn’t mention- is…. Walgreens Girl.
There was a girl paying at the Walgreens counter who was wearing a tank top, flip flops, and her underwear. Yes, that’s right, her underwear.
It was like being in someone’s nightmare where they dream they forgot to put on their pants before going out in public. Except that she appeared to be wide awake and unabashed. WEIRDO. and Winner.

And although we didn’t see the last event, it’s worth a mention. And does involve on of the five senses.
One thing I have learned this month: How to Identify the Smell of Marijuana.
I’m not trying to show off how sheltered I am, but- I am.
And I hadn’t really known for sure what it smells like before this city. Now, not only can I identify it, I’m actually very good at it. I could be an undercover cop and would have made tens of arrests by now.
Last night, it was so bad in our apartment- yes our apartment, my supposed sanctuary from all these weird, and illegal- we had to call the front desk. One of our neighbors was being irresponsible and the overwhelming smell was coming through the vents.
So I guess they win for Weirdest Neighbors.

As you can see, it’s been an entertaining month. Let’s see what July holds.

*My guilt issue is that I truly believe some of the most coloful characters I’ve seen are ill and need professional help. So I stuck to people that I think are just silly/crazy, not actually crazy/crazy. (But if you want to know the others, let me know. I’ll rock your world.)

And in case you’ve missed ‘em, you can always find the latest photos here.

So here’s what I’m noticing about San Fran. For your convenience, I’ve split it up into pros and cons for those of you who are thinking of moving/visiting. Keep in mind that all of the below are the opinions of one surburbanite girl and not necessarily those of San Francisco locals.

Pros:

I’m with Josh again!

Everything I could ever need is within walking distance. Specifically: Walgreens is on my block, Starbucks is two blocks over. Easy.

I’m walking everywhere, and therefore feel much less guilt about the non-existent exercise routine I’ve been following.

It’s never rainy. Everytime I check the Five Day forecast, there’s five little suns.

Britex Fabrics. Love it, love it, love it.

H & M. See above.

There are HUGE Gaps, Macys, American Eagle, etc. Ones that cover an entire block. Why walk when you can shop the whole way downtown?

REALLY nice people work here. Really nice. All the service people are incredibly friendly. Example: I got a free scarf in Chinatown this morning for buying fabric. It was a fabric store. I was fulfilling the customer’s purpose. Yet, they deemed me worthy of a scarf. It even coordinated with my outfit.

Amazing food. And Chinatown and Little Italy fall under this umbrella.

Westfield Mall. They must have 5 specialty chocolate stores.

The tourists- some of them are from Europe. I love getting behind them on the sidewalk and listening to them speak. I can’t understand the words, but I like the entusiasm.

Cons:

You guessed it- there’s a huge, huge, HUGE homeless population here. When I say huge, I mean that during a five block walk there’s absolutely no surprise to see 10-15 people living on the street. Most of them just hold an empty cup- a few tell you a story. It makes me so sad because there must be a few who are legitimate, but I’m not clever enough to discern those from the ones who are seen walking into package stores.
(*See stories below.)

The smells. I’m sure it’s the same in any city, though. You’ll be walking along, one minute smelling some delicious Italian food, and then all the sudden, this horrid smell smacks you in the face and sucks the air right out of your lungs. Then you take small breaths until you find a clear spot again. Sometimes it takes half a block. Particularly uncomfortable when you’ve been walking for awhile and are a little winded anyway.

The people who ask for directions. I guess it’s a good thing that I am starting to blend into the San Francisco world where people can’t identify me as a non-local, but I never know where anything is. Not so helpful. I get lost in Marietta, don’t they know?

The spitting. Oh my goodness, the spitting. Groomed, young, old, homeless, it doesn’t matter- men in this city have a hard time swallowing. They especially like to spit just behind me. Any gentleman points they earned by letting me go ahead are lost after they make that disgusting sound and let loose.

Final Thoughts:

It’s been an interesting week adjusting to being in a new city. My days are spent sewing, walking to do errands or lunch, or just sitting in the square reading or people watching. It’s relaxing, and so strange to get used to after teaching full time. I’m not complaining about having free time- that was something I was craving as the school year wrapped up.
In truth, the hardest part has been knowing I won’t be hanging out with any of you for awhile. I miss our family and friends!

But I am with Josh, and he’s taking great care of me. There’s some cool pictures he’s been taking around the city. I can’t attach a link either, but if you go down to the previous post, there’s one there.

I hope you’re all having a great summer!

*Here’s two stories of some of my encounters.

“I have money, I just need some quarters to make a phone call.”- same man seen standing by same phone booth two nights in a row

Today a man was walking past me on a crosswalk with a lit cigarette in one hand and a brown package in the shape of a bottle in the other. ( I forgot to mention in the cons that cigarette smoke is often blown into your face.) Just before he reached me, he spit (spat?) about a foot in front of me. Some droplets of it hit my hand. It’s okay, it’s okay- I had Purell that I bought my first week here for just such an occasion.

I’ll be honest — right now the pickings are pretty slim. Hardly any photos of people you know. Most of it is from my people watching around the city and me playing with my camera.

Below is a sampling of what you can expect to find. The sea lion photos are for the niece and nephew fans of ours . . . taken in effort to alleviate any trauma that may have been done by showing them sad Aunt Lauren a few posts back. :)

Here’s what I came home to the other day just before I had to start packing for the trip… so sad. So sweet. My wife.

We’ll do our best to keep this site updated with photos and stuff throughout the summer. :)