Well we hope your Saturday was better than Lauren and mine’s. We attended a funeral of Nemo sized proportions. My Beta fish “Final Candidate” died today after an attempt to clean his water vase home. I cleaned his murky water bowl, attempted to feed him and noticed he was acting very strange since I placed him back in his home. He was swimming upside-down, sideways, and anyway but the right way. We’re afraid it might have been brain damage due to lack of oxgen in the transfer from dirty bowl to clean bowl. So sad.

He’d get to the water’s surface, only to be dragged back down to the little pebbles below moments later. We left him to get lunch and told him he could die in peace without anyone to watch him . . . he did just that. Gone is my lively desktop friend.

Here is a photo from the funeral we held for Final Candidate. He lived a good, faithful life. Farewell, friend.

Despite the odds, Josh seemed to be successfully surprised at his party. There were a couple of challenges to pull this thing off. For starters, Josh is working from home, as am I (sort of) since it’s summer. And he doesn’t leave the apartment. Ever. And the apartment has partitions instead of walls, so a phone conversation can be heard throughout every square foot.
But I was determined and a few factors actually worked in my favor. Like Josh didn’t find it too weird that I randomly started taking my cell phone with me on walks. And he has no sense of errand timing and thought nothing of it when I was gone for three hours to supposedly go grocery shopping. (And didn’t check my trunk to find Party City bags) I think it also helps that all of his friends are so honest that Josh completely trusts them and anything they say. (”Uh…I think we’re already doing something Friday, but I’m not sure….”)
So with some major help from Andy, Jill, Mike, and Will, I took Josh out to eat while they came in, decorated, set up food, and had the whole apartment rearranged to suit a party-sized crowd. He was incredibly shocked when he walked in and about 20 people were piled on top of the couch in the corner of the room yelling SURPRISE!!!

Of course, we had some close calls. Here’s just a few:
1) I printed a picture of Josh’s face to cut out as part of the centerpiece. When he came back from volunteering at church, the first thing I heard him say- “Why is there a picture of me on the computer?” My feeble attempt at an answer,”Oh, I missed you while you were gone all morning and went through old pictures.” (Yup, he bought it.)

2) Someone sent me an instant gmail message that popped up on my screen and read, “Thanks for the directions, but you forgot to give the apartment number.” Thankfully, I saw it and took it down before Josh noticed.

3) Gmail pops up a window to let you know whenever you have a new email, including the name of sender and the first line from the email — for example, “‘We’d love to come to the party!” I could NOT figure out how to turn this feature off, and Josh uses my computer a lot for work. So I kinda made up that he had to turn it off or he might see a confirmation email about a gift I (didn’t really) ordered online for him. Bought that one, too.

And finally,
4)After we ate dinner the night of, Josh starts pushing to go get ice cream. Naturally, he thought it was weird of me to refuse to go. I pulled the whole “I’m just SO TIRED” routine. (Translation- “There’s 20 people waiting for you at the apartment!!”) But he just needed that ice cream and made the decision to stop at Kroger. Where he did not let me run in to get it alone (heart skipping a beat), he took his time walking in ( cold sweat) and did not want to leave the magazine section. (minor nausia.)

But we made it home, finally. It was really touching to see how many people made that extra effort to come from out of town or in the middle of busy summer schedules.
I don’t think this surprise would have been possible if Josh wasn’t as loving and trusting as he is. When I asked him to fix my gmail so he wouldn’t see the emails coming into it, he did it. When I begged him to take me home instead of getting the ice cream he was so obviously craving, he actually apologized that he forgot that I must be feeling so tired. And Josh allows me a lot of freedom, so he doesn’t question where I go shopping or constantly check the online banking to see how much I spent. (Note to self: I must never use these powers for evil.)
Josh, I think the only reason you had a great surprise is because you put so much trust and faith in your family and friends.
Thanks, Birthday Man. Happy 25th!!!

Last week, Josh’s mom was scheduled to come over and pick me up. (TWO broken Teague sewing machines- we HAD to get them to Joe the repairman as quickly as possible). After a very cheerful knock on the door, Mrs. Teague walked in, gave us some cookies, and was generally quite sunny and content.
It wasn’t until about a full minute of greetings and conversation later that she mentioned that she needed our help. As she was driving through the gate, it slammed shut and left a scratch on her Porshe.
Josh immediately left with her to go talk to the manager of the apartment. The manager’s first response was somewhat of denial. He told Mrs. Teague that it wasn’t that he didn’t believe her, but, well, “no one saw it happen.” Josh-he’s quick and asked him if the camera aimed at the gate hadn’t caught any of the action on tape. No, no, that camera just for monitoring, not taping. (No one was monitoring at the time.) The manager then got the idea to have Maxine, the leasing agent, drive her car through the gate.
If Mrs. Teague’s car needed a band-aid, Maxine’s car needed needed a stiff sling and a leg cast. The gate completely dinged in the side of her car while leaving a nice, long scratch.
The really sympathetic part of the story is after Maxine told the managerthat gate had, in her words, “killed her car,” the manager replied (to Josh and his mother), “Well, that’s good for you.”
He then went about contacting the gate company.
The coolest part is that after Mrs. Teague and I left, Josh had an idea for a good deed.
Remember that Mrs. Teague brought us cookies? She baked them for Josh because she felt like God wanted her to. Being the trusting Christian she is, she followed even though she wasn’t sure why cookies would suddenly be important.
Well, Josh decided to give them to the manager and Maxine to ease the feelings of everyone involved in a- wait, two- gate accidentS.
Of course, they were impressed, grateful, and caught by surprise.
That’s Josh, his mother, and God working together for you.

You probably have. But if you haven’t, you’re bound to soon enough . . . how about now? So MySpace is this online social network thing where every member (it’s free) has their own personal web page to post what they think describes them best — providing a “profile” is part of the signup process. I had heard the horrors of MySpace addictions through young people I know — YoungLife, siblings, etc. And of course through the press that it gets just about every day for the past year and a half.

I decided this week that my time was finally here to give it a try . . . after all, I am going back to college for more schooling (duh), so I figured I had at least get up to speed on the biggest thing since the iPod. At the same time though, I really didn’t want another place to keep track of messages, events, people, etc. I have a website a number of websites that I’m directly affiliated with. I’m easy to find on Google . . . that should be all people need to find/contact me.

They ask you to post a photo with your profile. I posted one solitary image . . . and yes I’ll admit that I posted one of my better photos, but I didn’t think much of it. The only information I put in my profile besides that I’m married (big clue, people), looking only for “friends and networking opportunities” (maybe “friends” is saying giving too much leeway?). Of course, they ask you to put in your age, your education background (so people can find you), and a few other minor details. Basically I pointed the page to my actual website at joshteague.com . . . thinking some extra traffic couldn’t hurt.

I probably should just give you the link to look for yourself. Sorry to waste your time here.

Anyway, overnight I apparently got placed in the “Cool New People” box that appears on everyone’s page and on the front page of MySpace. As I later will find out, this is something to be desired and is “hard to do.” This unwarranted publicity resulted in my Inbox being flooded with well over a hundred messages in an 8 hour period of time. I thought MySpace was suddenly holding my email account ransom or something. In addition to that, I had a hundred or so “Friend Requests” awaiting my response — which, sadly for them, meant immediate deletion. The messages though . . . we’ll keep those for the remainder of this post.

The messages I received can be grouped into one of the following (sometimes multiple!) categories seen below:
8 Celebrity Look-alike claims — John Cusack & Fred Savage. (?)
45 Random “Hi” messages. Thats all. Just a “Hi.”
34 Remarks of flattery.
1 Insulting Remark. “You are ugllie.”

And finally, as Lauren states, I seemed to have spoken to a generation of MySpace users who vowed never to join MySpace but found themselves falling to the prey. 34 messages fell into that category. We call them the MySpace Haters.

Here’s a few messages that stood out from the rest:

hey u obviously dnt knw me but i saw ur picture in the cool new ppl box, and i just wanted to say that u look very handsome, theres this shy yet stunning look ur eyes have, its a bit hard to explain. but i just wanted to let u knw wat type of alure you held…..srry for bothering u
- karen
——-
hay are you 15 i am buy
- nancy
——-
My names Martin, what’s Up bro! Just wanted to send this note first in hopes you will accept me as one of you buddy’s man. I am not gay so please don’t dismiss as such, I am a genuine friend, who will go out of my way if I think your cool, and sending you this message means just that? I hope to get to know all my myspace friends and get to party with everyone of them at least once! So if this mean a trip to come chill with me here in Long Beach, so be it. I will welcome you, and put you up, and feed you, and get you pre-drunk before we go to the Bars, and chill with some friends.
-Martin

Ok, I’m off to hang with Martin.

Normally, I’m not the kind to ask for help in a store. (I think it has something to do with Walmart.) But the girl who greeted me at the door looked so friendly that when she asked if she could help, I asked her where to find colored copy paper. Completely genuine, she pointed me in the right direction -again, HUGE store sign that I missed. Must learn to read signs.
When I returned to the counter, the girl looked at me and said, “Are you all set?” So I said yes and set my stuff down thinking she was going to check me out. She paused and looked at an older woman standing next to her.

Now the fun begins. As always, I am choosing a dialogue format.

Woman: (whispering, but still loud enough for me to hear) Scan in her items.
The girl did.
Woman:Tell her the total.
Girl: That will be $11.08.

I gave her my card and was about to tell her it would be debit when-

Women:Ask her if it’s debit or credit.
Girl:Is this debit or credit?
Me: Debit.
Woman: Okay, now when it’s debit, you don’t ask them to sign. Now ask her to swipe her card- oh. It looks like she already did.
(I didn’t realize that I should have been approaching this more as a role play)
Okay then, now you hit the key.

The girl hit the key.

Woman: Now ask her to enter her pin number.
Girl: Please enter your pin number.

If you’re tired of reading it, BELIEVE ME, I felt terrible for the poor girl and I was ready to leave.

So as the woman continued to walk the girl through e v e r y step of the check out process, I was ready to be finished. But the check out went on. Finally, it was time for me to get the bag and go.

Woman: Okay, now put the items in the bag.

The girl did, but the way the paper was sitting in the bag, the plastic was already starting to tear. The girl panicked a little-

Girl: Hmm. Is the bag too big?
Me: Oh, that’s okay, I can take it-
Woman: Well, you can straighten the paper in the bag.

The girl didn’t do anything.

Woman: Here- I’ll show you.
Me: (thinking- end it! end it!) You know, I don’t really need the bag, I can just take it by itself.
Woman:Oh, you don’t want the bag?
Me:No, I really don’t need it. (JUST end it.)
Woman: Okay then. (to girl) Now, when they say they don’t want a bag…

At this point, I was mentally crying. The poor girl seemed really sweet and not talked down to at all as the woman showed her how to place stickers on paid items. And explained to her that these stickers shows someone had actually paid. Because otherwise- Yes, she actually said this- you wouldn’t know if someone was just walking out with something they hadn’t paid for.

As a teacher, I must say that I felt the whole thing could have been done with a lot more discretion.