You probably have. But if you haven’t, you’re bound to soon enough . . . how about now? So MySpace is this online social network thing where every member (it’s free) has their own personal web page to post what they think describes them best — providing a “profile” is part of the signup process. I had heard the horrors of MySpace addictions through young people I know — YoungLife, siblings, etc. And of course through the press that it gets just about every day for the past year and a half.

I decided this week that my time was finally here to give it a try . . . after all, I am going back to college for more schooling (duh), so I figured I had at least get up to speed on the biggest thing since the iPod. At the same time though, I really didn’t want another place to keep track of messages, events, people, etc. I have a website a number of websites that I’m directly affiliated with. I’m easy to find on Google . . . that should be all people need to find/contact me.

They ask you to post a photo with your profile. I posted one solitary image . . . and yes I’ll admit that I posted one of my better photos, but I didn’t think much of it. The only information I put in my profile besides that I’m married (big clue, people), looking only for “friends and networking opportunities” (maybe “friends” is saying giving too much leeway?). Of course, they ask you to put in your age, your education background (so people can find you), and a few other minor details. Basically I pointed the page to my actual website at joshteague.com . . . thinking some extra traffic couldn’t hurt.

I probably should just give you the link to look for yourself. Sorry to waste your time here.

Anyway, overnight I apparently got placed in the “Cool New People” box that appears on everyone’s page and on the front page of MySpace. As I later will find out, this is something to be desired and is “hard to do.” This unwarranted publicity resulted in my Inbox being flooded with well over a hundred messages in an 8 hour period of time. I thought MySpace was suddenly holding my email account ransom or something. In addition to that, I had a hundred or so “Friend Requests” awaiting my response — which, sadly for them, meant immediate deletion. The messages though . . . we’ll keep those for the remainder of this post.

The messages I received can be grouped into one of the following (sometimes multiple!) categories seen below:
8 Celebrity Look-alike claims — John Cusack & Fred Savage. (?)
45 Random “Hi” messages. Thats all. Just a “Hi.”
34 Remarks of flattery.
1 Insulting Remark. “You are ugllie.”

And finally, as Lauren states, I seemed to have spoken to a generation of MySpace users who vowed never to join MySpace but found themselves falling to the prey. 34 messages fell into that category. We call them the MySpace Haters.

Here’s a few messages that stood out from the rest:

hey u obviously dnt knw me but i saw ur picture in the cool new ppl box, and i just wanted to say that u look very handsome, theres this shy yet stunning look ur eyes have, its a bit hard to explain. but i just wanted to let u knw wat type of alure you held…..srry for bothering u
- karen
——-
hay are you 15 i am buy
- nancy
——-
My names Martin, what’s Up bro! Just wanted to send this note first in hopes you will accept me as one of you buddy’s man. I am not gay so please don’t dismiss as such, I am a genuine friend, who will go out of my way if I think your cool, and sending you this message means just that? I hope to get to know all my myspace friends and get to party with everyone of them at least once! So if this mean a trip to come chill with me here in Long Beach, so be it. I will welcome you, and put you up, and feed you, and get you pre-drunk before we go to the Bars, and chill with some friends.
-Martin

Ok, I’m off to hang with Martin.