There is just no end of fun characters when dealing with a wedding. I love it.
Today, I had the job of purchasing stamps. After staring at this wall of stamps for about ten minutes, I finally picked a very basic (ie kinda boring) stamp. The choices were a bit more limited than I had imagined.
I go to the counter and meet Interesting Invitations Character #2 in the form of an older gentleman who resembled Santa Claus. (I would be willling to assume he works the malls during the season.)
I plunked down my 200 stamps or so (response card stamps included) and he looks at me over his glasses.
“Now….are these for a wedding?” (Santa speaks slowly and deliberately.)
“Yes, sir.”
“Alright…..now….have you had…..your invitations….weighed?”
I see where this is going. “No, I haven’t. I could bring one in though-”
“Because…..I’ve seen many disappointed brides…..all ready to mail their invitations…..and they’re too heavy for….the 37 cent stamp..I’m just…not comfortable..selling you….these 37 cents….unless….you’re sure…the invitation…requires…the 37 cent..stamp.”
“Okay, that makes sense, I don’t suppose there’s a one or two cent stamp-”
“Let me explain to you ….how this works, okay?….There’s a 37 cent stamp…..and there’s the 60 cent stamp……if the invitation is…..too heavy, okay,… for the….37 cent stamp….you HAVE to….buy the 60 cent stamps…,okay…”
“Well, thank you, I’ll have to check on-”
“Do you have… an invitation…with you?”
“No, no, I don’t, but I’ll bring one-.”
“Because….I would really….feel more comfortable….selling you these, okay………if you could…..bring in and weigh…..one of your invitations…”

A more assertive counterpart of myself may have had the nerve to say, “You are..inadvertantly…..speaking to me….in a somewhat….condescending…manner….although…..I appreciate…your..help….I would…..appreciate…..it even more….if you could….speak…more as if…you were communicating…to someone…you consider….your intellectual….equal…”

But I said,”Okay, I will be sure to do that. Thank you.”

Now, in fairness to Santa, I was dressed in a fashion style reminscient of Britney now that she’s in her laid-back pregnancy stage. Lacking make-up, fitting clothes, or clean hair for that matter, I’m sure I looked like a 12 year old junior bridesmaid on a mission. And I do realize that he was only trying to help, and for that, I am appreciative.
So here’s where I’m probably more stubborn than necessary- not to mention passively aggressive. I returned the stamps back to the shelf, drove all the way home, got an invitation example, and drove to another post office branch to have it weighed.
Happy ending- the invitations do only require the 37 cent stamp. Boo-ya.